This felt like standing in the hallway of a home I used to live in, running my fingers along the old grooves in the wall.
I’ve been there too—mourning friends who left not with slams or speeches but with silence. The ones who fade like songs I once knew all the lyrics to, now just a hum I can’t place. I wrote about it once and called it The Silent Grief of Living Losses. Because that’s what it is, isn’t it? You don’t get a funeral for the still-alive. You just get echoes.
Thank you for giving this kind of grief words. It helped me feel a little less alone in the ache.
I think the quiet drifting away is at least better than a sudden ghosting and then, when prompted, a big tirade with a 100 things that bugged them about you and that they never ever brought up to begin with. Somehow that’s the model that’s happened to me more than once and I hate this mode of toxic separation.
FELT. the lingering what ifs in my mind when i cant sleep at night and blaming yourself for what happened but there was really nothing grand that happened. it just ended, slowly yet so painful. this was heartbreaking, still thank you for sharing this ♡
It's so odd whenever I see a post from a friend I used to be close with in elementary school, because I always wonder how life would've been if we stayed close. We still follow each other and like our posts but we'll never be as close as we were, re-enacting the blood brother's scene from "My Girl". You'd think becoming blood brothers would keep you together forever but growing up changes so many things, and we can't help but try to live through it.
I had a fallout with my friends that were with me, and I really thought that we would be together and maybe even forever. And then she, yes, just one, started to ghost me, I didn’t know what I really did, wanted to talk to her but she keeps on pushing away. I really wish she was honest with me, I could accept a yell from her but that silence hurts more than a confrontation.
I still wished that they were my friends but damn, I lost some of them when she decided to stopped talking to me and my other friends in that friend group. That hurts than a break up.
This felt like standing in the hallway of a home I used to live in, running my fingers along the old grooves in the wall.
I’ve been there too—mourning friends who left not with slams or speeches but with silence. The ones who fade like songs I once knew all the lyrics to, now just a hum I can’t place. I wrote about it once and called it The Silent Grief of Living Losses. Because that’s what it is, isn’t it? You don’t get a funeral for the still-alive. You just get echoes.
Thank you for giving this kind of grief words. It helped me feel a little less alone in the ache.
oh god this one hit hard due to all the friendship breakups i’ve endured myself, you portrayed the emotions really well, good work!
thank you shreya! i hope you doing well now? 🫶🏻
yes, am good, thank you for asking.
I think the quiet drifting away is at least better than a sudden ghosting and then, when prompted, a big tirade with a 100 things that bugged them about you and that they never ever brought up to begin with. Somehow that’s the model that’s happened to me more than once and I hate this mode of toxic separation.
FELT. the lingering what ifs in my mind when i cant sleep at night and blaming yourself for what happened but there was really nothing grand that happened. it just ended, slowly yet so painful. this was heartbreaking, still thank you for sharing this ♡
this is really bittersweet and yet so relatable. i happen to have written on the same theme and the realizations are quite similar as well.
https://open.substack.com/pub/thisbeautifulmundane/p/i-lost-a-friend?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=5clsqt
i felt seen
This gave me a lump in the throat. Beautifully penned.
It's so odd whenever I see a post from a friend I used to be close with in elementary school, because I always wonder how life would've been if we stayed close. We still follow each other and like our posts but we'll never be as close as we were, re-enacting the blood brother's scene from "My Girl". You'd think becoming blood brothers would keep you together forever but growing up changes so many things, and we can't help but try to live through it.
😆😆 i wrote something on this except darker
https://open.substack.com/pub/dedoja/p/the-friends-i-abandoned-hunt-my-dreams?r=1ez1pm&utm_medium=ios
This is lovely, and hits home.
especially when she died...the one time we left eachother without saying goodbye
I had a fallout with my friends that were with me, and I really thought that we would be together and maybe even forever. And then she, yes, just one, started to ghost me, I didn’t know what I really did, wanted to talk to her but she keeps on pushing away. I really wish she was honest with me, I could accept a yell from her but that silence hurts more than a confrontation.
I still wished that they were my friends but damn, I lost some of them when she decided to stopped talking to me and my other friends in that friend group. That hurts than a break up.
thank you for writing this. it made me feel less alone.