I don’t usually comment, but I had to say thank you. This piece left me breathless in the best way. It named things I’ve struggled to articulate for years: how easily pain can be mistaken for depth, how often we contort ourselves trying to “earn” love from people who were never ready to hold it. I’ve been that person who softened every sharp edge with excuses, who stayed too long, who thought love meant bleeding quietly.
This wasn’t just a wake-up call. It was validation, and strangely, a kind of comfort. Especially the reminder that love doesn’t fix us; it reflects the work we’ve done within. That part hit me hard. I’m still learning how to meet myself first, but this reminded me why it matters. So thank you, truly—for the honesty, the clarity, and the compassion baked into every line.
Everyone hates hearing the "you have to love yourself before you can give love to anyone else" advice but its so true. We're all seeking connection in different ways, but we have to learn to put the effort we give to other people onto ourselves. If you're loving them, and their heart's not in it, then who's loving you?
2D often feels like a pathetic medium to explain such complex and deeply felt experiences. So often it feels jumbled, the thoughts and feelings entangled to such a degree it seems impossible to find an end. I’m in awe of the clarity your writing speaks; it’s a real gift. And beyond the arrangement of words on the screen, there’s something comforting about the presence required to be there in that space to enable this awareness to exist, to be seen. Thank you again for sharing, helping us to feel less of a weirdo for revealing parts of what makes us human in our fundamentally bare sense
"and no matter how radiant your light, it cannot illuminate a room someone refuses to enter. he didn’t leave because you were too much. he left because he wasn’t ready to be enough."
I have never commented before, but after reading this, wow, it was an eye opener, recently I’ve been through two messy breakups, between the last year and this one and started to believe love might not be for me, or that it was my problem for choosing wrong, but now I realize I have to work in me for the peaceful and present love to arrive in my life, thank you man! By far my favorite article I’ve read in substack
I don’t usually comment, but I had to say thank you. This piece left me breathless in the best way. It named things I’ve struggled to articulate for years: how easily pain can be mistaken for depth, how often we contort ourselves trying to “earn” love from people who were never ready to hold it. I’ve been that person who softened every sharp edge with excuses, who stayed too long, who thought love meant bleeding quietly.
This wasn’t just a wake-up call. It was validation, and strangely, a kind of comfort. Especially the reminder that love doesn’t fix us; it reflects the work we’ve done within. That part hit me hard. I’m still learning how to meet myself first, but this reminded me why it matters. So thank you, truly—for the honesty, the clarity, and the compassion baked into every line.
i hope you write too, because i struggled to comment in this way on this post, so thankyou. (if you don't, you better write)
Everyone hates hearing the "you have to love yourself before you can give love to anyone else" advice but its so true. We're all seeking connection in different ways, but we have to learn to put the effort we give to other people onto ourselves. If you're loving them, and their heart's not in it, then who's loving you?
If I had read this in my teens, it might have changed the course of my life. I ended up learning most of it the hard way.
Still, I’m bookmarking it — I know someone it might help. Thanks, gor.
2D often feels like a pathetic medium to explain such complex and deeply felt experiences. So often it feels jumbled, the thoughts and feelings entangled to such a degree it seems impossible to find an end. I’m in awe of the clarity your writing speaks; it’s a real gift. And beyond the arrangement of words on the screen, there’s something comforting about the presence required to be there in that space to enable this awareness to exist, to be seen. Thank you again for sharing, helping us to feel less of a weirdo for revealing parts of what makes us human in our fundamentally bare sense
we are all weirdos, looking for someone to accept that weirdness and still love us anyway. and we will, we will find them.
To find like mind weirdos we first have to take the mask off - show our full selves - that feels huge sometimes. Easier to hide
loved it. nothing to add. nothing to take away. job well done 👍
thanks for advices pops
always girly
i loved this and it was exactly what i needed to hear today.
"healing eventually becomes a decision. the choice to stop romanticizing dysfunction".
this is it. in a nutshell. so many nuggets of gold in your piece but this one really shone.
thank you jay!
it’s the other way round man… thank you!
This is an amazing piece. You’re an unbelievable writer. Definitely something I needed to hear today, thank you!
This was incredibly healing thanks to the softness of your tone throughout the piece
ah, thank you so much mysh!
I'm a relationship coach and you nailed thisss
Very True Lines!
Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!! Amazing.
Truth
"and no matter how radiant your light, it cannot illuminate a room someone refuses to enter. he didn’t leave because you were too much. he left because he wasn’t ready to be enough."
I have never commented before, but after reading this, wow, it was an eye opener, recently I’ve been through two messy breakups, between the last year and this one and started to believe love might not be for me, or that it was my problem for choosing wrong, but now I realize I have to work in me for the peaceful and present love to arrive in my life, thank you man! By far my favorite article I’ve read in substack